Maid of honour
by VenomousAngel13
Summary: Randy Orton had his professional life sorted, it was his personal life that was the problem, his best friend suggests a maid, a bit hesitant at first he decides to go for it, he never knew it would be the best thing he ever Jamie(oc)/Randy Orton
1. Maids solve everything

**A/N **So new story suggested by the lovely SinisterGatesLegend, its a Jamie/Randy pairing so hopefully you guys enjoy that, and it may be a bit weird but give it go good people! Onwards Jolly Roger! (It's a pirate sorta day!)

**Chapter 1 Maids solve everything**

**Randy;**

"So can I stay with you Cena?" I asked again, I knew he wasn't going to change his mind but still I had to try. I had been trying to convince my best friend John for almost an hour to let me stay with him while we were closer to home. It was very rare but sometimes it happened, the arena was close enough for us to work from home. Instead of going to random hotels, I would be at home in my own bed, that was the problem, I hated being home these days. John gave me that peircing blue eyed stare, he knew the exact reason I hated going home, he had been trying to convince me to fix it but I didn't see a point, I wasn't going to be home long anyways, what was the point in fixing the problem if it wasn't really a problem that often.

"Randy, you have to go home sometime"

"No I don't, not if you let me crash with you"

"You're not crashing with me Randy, my girl is staying with me"

"So I'll sleep in the spare room with my headphones really loud"

John let that stray smile ghost onto his face, "Randy you need to sort your life out"

"My life is sorted thank you very much"

"Yeah your professional life maybe but your private life, well not so much"

It was true as much as I hated to admit it, my professional life was perfect. I was a main event guy, I had my belt back, I was playing a heel (my favourite role to play, its so much fun being evil) professionally I had everything. Personally was a different story, being away and being lazy had made my house a pig-sty, litterly I was in my own filth, of course it didn't help that my daughter wasn't with me very often so I missed her like crazy, my wife turned out to be a whore and walked right out the door leaving me shattered. Personally things had gone to crap and I made it worse by becoming some sort of filthy pig. I knew something had to be done and I couldn't really go on that way but to be honest I couldn't really see a point in cleaning anything up, it would just get messed up again anyways. Everything is going to turn to shit so why bother. Sadly that meant when I was home, I didn't want to be home and I had to convince my friends to let me stay with them. Usually it worked but now John had had enough, not that I could blame him.

"And what exactly do you recommend Dr Cena?"

John chuckled, "Why does that sound dodgy and wrong?"

"Just get to your point ass-face, what do you think I should do?"

"I think you should get a maid"

I just looked at him, I had been down this road before, the problem was I wound up fucking her. Yeah, that wasn't one of my smarter ideas so why the hell was John suggesting it again was beyond me.

"Seriously Rand, a maid would help you out, just don't, you know, fuck this one"

I punched him in the arm, "I'm not going through this again Cena, a maid is the dumbest idea you have ever had"

John rubbed his arm, that dimpled grin not leaving his face, "I'm telling you Randy, get a maid and let her sort out the mess and while she or he is doing that, you can focus on sorting yourself"

When he put it like that it did sound kinda smart, as long as I kept my dick to myself. John seemed to read my mind on that one,

"And so you won't be tempted to bang her, hire a woman older than you are, or better yet hire a dude, you won't fuck the maid if it's a guy"

I had to laugh at that, he was right. A guy maid could be weird but at least I wouldn't wind up fucking him. "You think a maid is a good idea?"

"Can't hurt right?"

"And how exactly do I get this maid?"

John rolled his eyes, "Advertise in the paper you douche-bag. You've got a three day window to meet and hire one, that should be enough"

I didn't say anything and John had lost interest, his girl had shown up so now I was on my own. The more I thought about John's idea, the more I decided that maybe he was right, maybe I did need some help sorting out my life and perhaps a maid was the right thing to do. If not, well it wouldn't make a difference right, life was already fucked up, it couldn't get any worse.

So before I headed to the plane, I sent my message and asked them to run it in the paper, they said they would and by the time I boarded, I was feeling a little bit better. I made my way down the aisle to my seat, I had already made a silent promise that if this maid idea turned toxic, I was going to punt John's head right of his bulky shoulders.


	2. Texting, cookies, & new hope

**Chapter 2 Texting, cookies & new hope**

Jamie Michales banged open the door in her usual loud blunt manner, her blonde hair fluttering in the wind. Another failed job interview was starting to get the young girl down. She had just turned twenty one and every job she applied for, she was told the same thing, you're good, just not good enough to work. Her sister Raven was in the kitchen as always, making cookies.

"It happened again Raven" Jamie announed tossing off her shoes, "Oooh cookies! What kind are they?"

"Chocolate chip-raisin" Raven announced as Jamie flopped in a chair. Her lean body was starting to sag in defeat. Raven had told Jamie that after her graduation, she could take a break but Jamie decided to just try and work, Jamie believed in her heart of hearts that just because her brain was damaged and she had certain difficulties, she could still work. Even with her degrees, bosses didn't want to know, apparently Jamie was sweet but just not good enough to work. Jamie didn't have to work, her injury would leave her very well off but it wasn't just who she was, Jamie loved helping people and working was a great way to do that.

"It didn't go so well I take it" Raven commented taking cookies out of the oven and putting more in. Raven had been baking most of the afternoon. Since Jamie started her job kick, Raven had to be the peacemaker and cheerer upper, cookies never failed to cheer Jamie up.

"Well it was the same thing, you're really good and sweet but not good enough to work with us, don't let your cute behind hit the door on the way out"

"The interview guy said your ass was cute?" Raven asked raising an eyebrow,

Jamie laughed "Probably. Why can't I ever get a job?"

"Because interviewing people are idiots, if they can't see how sweet you are and how ready to work you are, then they would hire you just like that, instead they say no, see, idiots"

Jamie slumped on the table, her head in her slender arms. Raven bought over the cookies,

"If this helps at all, there are circuled ads in the paper and some messages for you on the machine and some letters for you from your CV send-out"

"Honey take off your panties! Tyler's home!"

Jamie looked at the door trying not to laugh, her sister's boyfriend Tyler Connolly was home, he soon regretted saying those words knowing that Jamie would ask questions. "Hey Jamie"

"Hi Tyler, I don't think you gotta worry about Rae's underwear, she never wears it"

Tyler laughed as he gave his girlfriend a kiss, Tyler was away alot due to his band, _Theory of a Deadman_, but coming home to Raven always made it worth it, no matter what. Plus Jamie was a sweetie to be around.

"Well thats a load off my mind"

Raven managed to get out of his arms and turn off the oven, now that Tyler was home and Jamie would go through her mail, it left Raven free for other things. Tyler-naked-garage related things.

"Me and Ty are going to our room, you stay there and answer your mail"

"So you're gonna have sex while I get rejected?"

"Pretty much"

"Kay, have fun"

"Oh we will"

While her sister was out with her boyfriend, Jamie sorted through her mail. Every letter so far was the same, _Thank you for applying but you're not what we're looking for. _Every message was the same, "_There are no openings at this time Miss Michales"_

Jamie let out a tired grunt, "Stupid purple monkey dishwashers, it's all their fault." Not letting herself give up, she pulled the newspaper towards her, only two circuled ads but still that was better than nothing.

_Farm hand wanted _Jamie put a big X through that, Jamie had no idea what a farm hand meant but she knew that a farm had cows, and Jamie was shit scared of cows. Jamie wasn't even sure why but the huge black and white animals scared her.

_Maid needed, must be above twenty-one, must like children, must be able to clean, cook, do laundry, light lifting and errands. Payment will be discussed depending on CV. _Jamie liked the sound of that, she was great and cleaning due to Raven having OCD, she had been taught to cook and do laundry, she could lift light things, and errands? She was the master at doing what people told her without question. This maid thing sounded like the most perfect job in the world. Jamie read the ad again, _must like children_, Jamie liked children, they seemed to flock to her for some odd reason. There was a number to text, Jamie couldn't help the excitement, if she didn't get this job then she was just going to quit looking, this maid gig sounded like the most perfect job, she had to get it. Her fingers took a while pressing the buttons, her slender fingers were not listening to her again. Jamie put the phone down and took a deep calming breath, her brain injury always made things like texting that much more difficult, but in true Jamie fashion, she wouldn't let it slow her down.

_Hi! My name is Jamie and I was wonderin about the maid position, is it still going?_

Jamie waited anxiously, she could all ready see the reply text, 'Yes, its gone, too late sucker'

_Maid is still available. Are you qualifyed?_

_Um...yes. I think. I know how to clean/cook/laundry/run errands. I am perfect at doing what I'm told without question_

_Good to know. Would you like an interview?_

_Yes! _

_Alright, I'll text you the address, we can meet about lunchtime, sound all right? _

_Sounds all right, thank you so much! _

By the time Raven and Tyler came back in, Jamie was still dancing around the lounge, cookie in one hand, phone in the other. That pleased smiled all over her face,

"Someone is happy" Raven commented making Jamie stop for a moment. That huge smile beamed all over her little face.

"I have an interview tomorrow! I'm going to be a maid!"

Raven and Tyler let Jamie have her happy moment, they had their doubts about this job and the trouble that it could cause but for right now they would leave it, after all Jamie had that happy hope back, they weren't about to kill it.


	3. Not what I expected

**Chapter 3 Not what I expected**

**Randy;**

So that was it. I had my ad in and already people had started to respond. Not one of them sounded like people I would want in my home or near me for that matter. Maybe I was just being grumpy, I knew that John was right and I needed to sort this out but still it meant people would be here and I would have to be nice-ish. And I would have to ask them questions and they would ask me questions, just thinking of it made my energy drain. Still I dragged myself up and got myself ready for company. I didn't do a thing about the house, a few more days living in filth wasn't going to make a difference, Besides I was hiring a maid right, that was their job, to clean up my mess. At least John had given my some advice I was going to stick too, hire someone I wouldn't want to fuck, a dude or a woman past her prime, I had to stick to that. The doorbell sounded making me groan, it was only half past eight and my day of interviewing people had already started, I could all ready see that this was going to be a bad day, a very long, boring day.

I shut the door at half past eleven feeling even more drained than I was at the start. All the people that had come weren't suited, no experience, too much experience, and the odd fan girl going all giddy at the sight of me, it was all very annoying. I had one more meeting at twelve and then I was done. I still wondered if I was going find anyone, what I needed was someone I wouldn't be tempted to fuck, someone that knew what they were doing and someone that had no idea who I was or who I worked for, sadly in this country, almost everyone knew who I was due to tv time. At least I had half an hour to myself to at least have a hot drink and what not. Just on twelve the door chimes went off again followed by a trail of giggles, it went again followed again by the giggles. Quickly I got up and answered the door, the bell was starting to annoy me to no end. When I pulled the door back I was a little surprised, on my doorstep I had a tall young blonde, with blue eyes that surely belonged to some sort of animae character.

"Hi!'

"Um hi, can I help you?"

"I'm Jamie! I was here about the maid job, is that already goned? I knew it, I was too late, thats what I get for trying to catch the birds"

I let her ramble, I was busy trying to put eyes back in my head, Jamie wasn't who I expected. When I heard the name Jamie I expected a dude, instead I got a nice looking blonde with a figure women would murder for, I knew my slutty ex wife would at least.

"No it's not gone Jamie"

She clapped her hands with happiness, her round face glowing with pride.

"However Jamie, I'm sorry but I cannot hire you"

"Why not?" Jamie asked clearly confused.

"You have to be above twenty-one and I" "But I am twenty-one!" Jamie broke in, she ruffled around in her pink bag and fished out her wallet, she actually showed me her ID, I knew a fake one from the real thing and this told me what I wanted to know, Jamie was indeed twenty-one.

"Then I guess I can interview you"

Jamie sighed in relief, "Oh thank God!"

I stepped back and let her in, the first test so to speak. Her blue eyes scoured the messy lounge and shattered kitchen, it only got worse the further in the house you dared to venture. Not to mention it probably didn't smell that great, I was used to it.

"Wow, no wonder you wanted a maid, it's like a bomb went off in here. I'm not quite sure what that even means but oh well"

"Take a seat Jamie"

The kitchen table was the only place that wasn't hit by a bomb, her lean frame took a seat, those eyes staring at me with excited nerves. I was more shocked that she wasn't screaming, so far it looked as though she had no idea who I was, she was gaining more points. That was a shame.

"Can I get you something to drink Jamie?"

"No thank you Mr? It's just occured to me that I don't even know your name. That's weird"

"You can call me Randy"

Jamie nodded as I took a seat opposite her.

"So Jamie, tell me about yourself"

"What do you wanna know Randy?"

There was something about her that made me curious, I wasn't sure if it was bright blue eyes or long blonde hair, it could've been the fact that she was smoking hot, I don't know but I do know that there was something different about her, different to other girls.

"Have you been a maid before?"

"No. But I'm great at cooking and cleaning, I know how to do laundry and I'm excellant at doing as my told"

That just made me even more interested. "And how are you with animals?"

"As long as its not a cow I'm fine"

"A cow?"

"You know black and white animal, gives milk, moos" Jamie made several mooing sounds in her attempt to make me understand what a cow was.

"Jamie I know what a cow is"

"Yeah I don't like cows"

"Ok no cows. What about dogs?"

"I love doggys!" Jamie cheered clapping those tiny hands again in happiness, her little face all lit up. "How many doggy's do you have?"

"One. A choc-lab. Her name is Jaffa"

"I like that name, my ones are called Lucy and Mystical Elf"

"You named your dog Mystical Elf?"

Jamie giggled shaking her head, blonde locks flying every which way, "No. I named my chicken Mystical Elf"

How did we get from dogs to chickens? I don't know but I wasn't about to ask.

"How many chickens do you have Jamie?"

"Two, and I have a piggy and some fishys"

"Are you sure you're above twenty-one?" It was something in the way she spoke that made me wonder, I didn't know many girls her age that referred to animals as fishys or piggys.

"Yessum. Why?"

"The way you speak, it's...different"

Jamie just looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. Waiting for me to go on. I didn't say anything, we just looked at each other. Sparkly, lively blue looking into icy blue. Her smile didn't waver for a second. It was like Jamie was blissfully unaware of my probing. I couldn't help myself, it started with her eyes and travelled down to her neck and further down. I couldn't help it, I tried but I guess I wasn't fighting it very hard because I saw my eyes slide down to her tiny little cleavage and further down until I was looking over her shapely legs.

"So Jamie, are there any days you can't work?"

Jamie snapped to attention, "Did I win?"

"Win?"

"The staring contest we were having, you looked away, alot. Did I win?"

I was relieved that Jamie didn't know what I was actually doing, I knew I had to stop before I got into trouble but honestly I couldn't help it, I also couldn't help the little chuckle, "Yeah, you won Jamie"

She beamed with pride, a cute little dimple sticking out from her chin, "So what was your question?"

"Are there any days you can't work?"

"I can work all days, but Friday's I have to leave before half past three, I have appointments to get too"

"What kind of appointments?"

Now she shifted uncomforatbly like any normal person. "I don't really want to say Randy"

"All right, thats fair enough"

"When can you start?"

"You mean like what time?"

"I mean what day can you start?"

"Any day, any time"

"Alright, you can start tomorrow at half past ten and finish after dinner is cooked, sound all right to you?"

"I got the job!?"

"Yes Jamie, the job is your's"

She let out a cute little squeal, her whole body shaking, just from watching it I knew that I was maybe in trouble, but I ignored that feeling that started to well in my guts, it was nice that the first annoying part was over, I had my maid.

"Thank you so much Randy! I promise I won't let you down!"

"It was nice meeting you Jamie and I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow"

Jamie stood up and let me walk her to the door, "Thank you so much Randy, ooh I can hardly wait to tell my sister the good news, I have a job!"

I bid her good-bye and watched her carry on her way home, I should've stopped staring but I couldn't. It was certainly going to be interesting having little Jamie around. I shut the door and once again got a glimpse of that feeling in my gut,

Was I making a mistake in hiriing Jamie?

**A/N Is Randy making a mistake? Your thoughts! **


	4. Research

**Chapter 4 Research **

Jamie slammed the door open, a wide grin on her face. She didn't have to speak for Raven and Tyler to know that Jamie's interview had gone well. It was written all over her face.

"I have a job!" Jamie annouced flinging her arms around before deciding to dance around the living room in joy, "I have a job! I have a job! A job! Job! Job!"

Raven laughed "I think she has somethin Ty, but I can't figure out what"

"A bob?" Tyler asked making Jamie stop, her blue eyes stabbing through him.

"A job"

"A slob?" Raven asked turning that glare on her.

"A job!"

"A mob?"

Raven gasped, "There is no room for your mob Jamie"

Before the young girl could get upset, Raven got up and gave her a big hug, "Congrats on the job Jamie, I knew you would get one, who could resist that face?"

Jamie giggled, "I start tomorrow at ten so please make sure I'm there or at least up before ten"

"Will do. So what job is it?"

"I'm a maid!" Jamie gushed proudly, "My boss is soooo nice, he has the most pretty pictures on his arms, they went all the way up, just like my legs!"

"What's your boss' name Jamie"

"Randy somthing, I didn't ask his last name, I thought that might be rude."

Raven was all ready painting the picture in her skull, she hoped she was wrong but it didn't seem that way, unless Jamie was wrong, that seemed more likely but still very unlikely.

"It wouldn't be rude asking someone their last name."

Jamie falted for a moment, Raven quickly came to her aid, missing that smile from her sister. "But hey at least you got a job, that's the most important thing."

"I'm so happy!" Jamie trilled going back to her dancing, "His house is so messy! It's gonna take at least five minutes for me to clean"

That was an exaggeration at its best but to Jamie as long as she had music, cleaning really only did take five minutes, "Oh I hope I don't run out of things to do"

"You won't Jam, your boss should have some sort of schedule in place of things to do, just remember you have appointments on a Friday"

"I know, I told him that" Jamie said proudly, she wouldn't forget that, not after last time. Raven was so disappointed, Jamie would do anything to never see Raven's disappointed face again.

"Do you have to wear a uniform?"

Jamie shrugged, "I don't think so. Oh I'm just so happy! I'm going to tell the chickens!" Jamie raced outside screaming for her chickens, Lucy and Mystical-Elf. Raven looked on worriedly, Tyler wrapped an arm around her,

"She'll be fine Rae, any trouble and she'll let you know, you know that"

"Still can't help but be worried. Being a maid for someone you don't know, well it's worryin"

Tyler kissed her cheek, "She'll be fine, she's so happy, don't spoil that for her with your paranoia"

Raven didn't say anything, she just continued to look at her sister, happily petting her chickens and telling them all about her boss and new job.

"His name is Randy and he is soooo nice!" Jamie chirped as she fed the chickens, she liked the way their plump brown bodies fluttered around trying to get more, their little clucks echoing in her ears, Jamie always talked to her chickens as though they could understand her, they deserved their words as much as any human being.

"He has such pretty tattoos, I wish I could touch them," Jamie dreamed herself touching those pictures, she wasn't sure why you liked touching tattoos, it wasn't as though she could actually feel anything, she figured it was just her brain injury making things weirder for her. "Don't worry little chickens, I won't forget to feed you, it will just have to be after work, I feel so happy I can say that!"

Jamie finished up with the chickens, giving them little pats as their beaks pecked for more food. Jamie came inside to find Raven at the computer busily typing away, Jamie washed her hands and grabbed a drink from the fridge, her whole body still shook with excitement, she wanted to start working now, but she knew that wasn't possible.

"Are you talking on the net again?" Jamie asked sitting down with her sister, Raven looked up and gave her a wry smile,

"Yeah, fuckers are trying to tell me that I don't know what I'm on about, let me tell you somethin, I do know what I'm on about and Dad has too gotten fat"

Jamie laughed "And he has that thing on his face, why does he even have that?"

"Because he's a douche"

"Raven! Be nice, thats your Dad you're talking about"

Raven laughed "You're right, I should be nice, I might need money"

Jamie let out a fit of giggles, the last time Raven had borrowed money she was nine and she wanted an ice-cream. Raven didn't like to borrow, not if she could help it anyway.

"So I did some research on your boss Jamie"

"You researched Randy on your magical computer box thing?"

"Yeah. Did you notice how attractive he is?" Raven hoped that she hadn't but maybe in a way she did hope that she had noticed, Jamie didn't seem to have an interest in boys or girls for that matter, she was too busy finding a job and looking after her chickens, Raven just hoped that Jamie could still be normal in that respect, it was normal to have crushes but Jamie just didn't seem to get that, at least not since her injury which was fair while ago now. A good eight years ago now.

Jamie shook her head, "Was I meant too? Oh no's! What if he asks me that tomorrow? What am I meant to say?"

"Jamie I really doubt that he'll ask you that"

"Are you sure? Cause I don't wanna get caught un-awares"

"Jamie you'll be fine, trust me, he won't ask you that"

"Ok" Jamie agreed a bit un-certainly, she trusted Raven's judgement but Jamie had found out that Raven could be wrong just like any other human being in the world. Still she would trust it until it proved that it wasn't.

"Do you wanna play on the lap-top while I make dinner?"

"Yay!" Jamie loved playing on the lap-top, usually she played online trivia, she didn't win much but she loved answering the questions. Raven moved from her seat so Jamie could get to the keyboard.

"What would you like for dinner Jim-Jam?"

"Fishy-chips please"

"Bought or made?"

"Um made please"

Raven shrugged as she pulled on her coat, luckily there was a fish bar down the road.

When Raven came back with the fish, ready to cook Jamie had lost her happiness. She just stared at the screen, reading intently, with each sentence she read her blue eyes deflated of their light until they became dimmer like a light bulb losing energy flow.

"Everything ok Jamie?"

"Yes. No, not really" Jamie couldn't lie any longer than two seconds, at least not to Raven.

"What's got you down?"

"I read some stuff. Raven I don't wanna go to work tomorrow, please don't make me"

"Why don't you wanna go to work?"

"I read some stuff about Randy and he's gonna be so horrible to me, he's done some mean and horrible things to his former maids and I don't wanna be next"

"Jamie, he's not gonna be a jerk."

Jamie however wasn't listening now, she was rambling. "Oh he's gonna punt me if I don't do the washing right. What if I do the lawn mowing wrong?" Jamie was up pacing now, going through all the torture methods Randy was going to inflict if she didn't do her job right. Raven had to grab her shoulders and litterly shake her to make her hush her lips.

"Jamie, stop fretting! You'll be fine"

"Are you sure? Cause I don't want Randy to punt me or worse fire me or worser fire me then punt me down the hill"

"Jamie!"

She finally stopped and looked at her sister, "Jamie listen to me, you're going to be fine. Randy isn't going to be a jerk and as long as you clean the way you were taught, you'll be fine"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, that I am sure of. Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower while I cook dinner"

Jamie chewed her lip but pushed the computer away, "Raven I don't wanna go to work now, I'm scared he'll be a jerk"

"Don't be scared and he'll be perfectly nice and you will be the perfect maid"

"All right but if you're wrong I'm not gonna be happy"

"Fair enough"


	5. Now thats a first day

**Chapter 5 Now thats a first day**

**Randy;**

At exactly ten in the morning I was greeted with that somewhat familiar door-bell and giggles. Luckily I was already awake and the day didn't seem so bad, now that I was awake and had had coffee, I was a little bit more tolerant of the world. For a moment I let her stand on the doorstep and giggle at the bell. Admittedly I did try and get some information on Jamie, but it was useless, I thought that a girl like her would be easy to find, espeically with all the sites like Facebook and Twitter, but I didn't find a thing on her, a lot of other Jamie's, but not her. I knew because the image of Jamie was now stamped in my head, those bright blue eyes and long creamy legs, I know, this is how it began last time but I couldn't help my self, I would have to be gay in order not to find Jamie attractive and I knew for a fact that I am not gay. Maybe being gay was the answer to all my problems? If this turns out bad, I'll seriously consider going gay. Finally after five minutes of giggling, I got up and answered the door. Her bright smile floated at me warming me up on the inside, I had no idea that was even possible but here we are.

"Morning Randy! How are you?"

"I'm good and yourself?" I pulled the door back so she could come in, I had gotten her some stuff to help her out with her cleaning, bags and the washing basket and some other bits and peices.

"I had a weird dream about Raven and _Cherrios_, and I hurt my finger trying to catch a bird, but other than that, I'm all good"

"Explains why you're here early"

Jamie looked at me confused, "I thought I was late" She looked at her watch, "See, it's ten past ten and you said ten"

"I said half past ten" I didn't care that she was early, it showed that she wanted to work and lets face it, the faster this tip gets cleaned the better.

Her face fell slightly as the reality sank in, "Whoops! Do you want me to go outside until half past, ooh I can play with the bell!"

"Nah, you might as well start. I've put out some trash bags and the laundry basket, cleaning bottles and what not, so you can start when you want."

Jamie shurgged off her pink bag and started work, "I'm sorry about being early Randy, I really thought I was meant to start at ten, I was so afraid of being late"

"It's ok Jamie, the faster this place gets clean, the better"

Jamie started her work, it took everything I had not to stay in this spot and watch her, her jean-clad legs bent her body down to pick up bits of trash and shove it into the black bags. The way she moved was enchanting and mesmerizing, it really was a thing of beauty. Sadly I had planned to go to the gym and do some other bits and peices, I didn't want to be in her way while she cleaned. Now that I saw her working and bending and flexing, I wanted to stay and for some reason, throw dollar bills at her.

"Ahh!" Jamie jumped back in fright, a little brown mouse darting to the other side of the couch, there was no where for it to go. "You have a mousy, you never told me that"

Even I didn't know, but that didn't shock me, it only cemented how un-clean I really was. "Do you want me to catch it?"

"Shh!" Jamie threw her arm up, a small tattoo peaking from her wrist, "Mice don't have very good hearing, they sense danger by the vibrations, so you have to be very quiet" Jamie whispered, "Do you have a container?"

Very silently I got up and passed her a plastic container, Jamie tip-toed, rather dramatically across the room, her mouse was still cowering, Jamie scooped it up and snapped the lid on. Holding it up to me proudly she beamed again, "Caught him!"

The mouse only scared her because she didn't know it was there, now she seemed fearless.

"He is so cute! Can I keep him Randy?"

I was very tempted to tell her that she could but for the first time in my life, better judgement made its way to the surface, "I don't think so Jamie, he's a wild mouse"

Her face fell again, "Yeah, you're probably right" Jamie pulled off the lid and let her hand scoop it up by the tail, the poor thing dangled, shaking in fear at the giant human girl holding its tail. "I'm sorry Mr-Mouse but this is whats best"

With a single snap, Jamie broke his neck. The resounding snap whistled through my eardrums as everything just stopped, Jamie had just killed a mouse, snapped its neck with no care in the world, she did it so easily it even had me worried. Jamie put the un-moving body back in the container, her blue eyes looking towards the ceiling.

"Dear Lord, I'm sorry I killed your mousy, but if I didn't, he would just come back. So I killed him and sent him to you because you're all knowing and you know what to do with him. I shall bury him for you. Amen"

This was all just fucked up to every extent, Jamie, so sweet and innocent, had just killed a mouse as though she did it everyday. Those blue eyes not losing their shine, if anything they burned brighter.

"Do you mind if I bury him in the backyard?" Jamie asked laying the lid on the container and putting it out of harm's way. "If I don't, God will get angry and I don't like him when he's angry"

"Go for it" I really still had no idea what to do, everything just seemed surreal, did she really just kill a mouse? Apparently so because Jamie took the container outside, whistling some song. Thirty seconds later she came back, dirt on her hands.

"That was fast"

"It was a shallow grave," Jamie shrugged going back to work. "Do you mind if I listen to music?"

"Go ahead"

"I warn you, I sing and I'm not very good at singing"

"Don't care, I'm going to the gym"

Jamie pulled on her MP3 and lost herself in the music, humming along as she tended to my very messy lounge. Now I wanted to get away before something else poked its way up and she killed it. I gave her ass one last glance before slipping out the door. I almost banged straight into John. Now I had a whole different reason to stay out of the house, I didn't want him knowing that I had gone against all his best intentions and hired Jamie.

"Why are you here?" I asked not moving from the doorway, my mission now was to keep him out of my house.

"I wanted to see how you were"

"I'm great, you can go now"

John narrowed those blue eyes, "I thought you said you hired a maid"

"I did, I mean I have, she's cleaning so we're not to interrupt her"

"She?" John asked raising an eyebrow. Fuck. I wasn't meant to say that. "I thought you were hiring a guy?"

"Yeah, this one is more qualifyed, so lets go to the gym"

"Why are you hiding her?" John asked, the suspicion was lacing his voice, all usual signs of John gone and replaced with this annoying monster.

"She's busy so we shouldn't interrupt her, c'mon lets go to the gym"

"Randy, did you hire a maid?"

"Yes"

"And how old is this maid?"

"She's above twenty-one" I knew that wouldn't satisfy him, to prove my point he barged his way in. The door knocked back so loud it roused Jamie from her music. The poor girl jumped again, I should probably stop scaring her.

"Hi!"

"Hi" John smiled at her glaring at me, "You must be the maid I've heard so much about"

Jamie's face flickered in confusion, "Yeah I guess so, you are?"

"Sorry, I'm John, a friend of Randy's"

"Hi! I'm Jamie but my friends call me Jam because hookers are comfortable around me"

John couldn't help himself, he burst out laughing, Jamie however wasn't laughing, I know it sounds mean but I don't think she understood the joke. Jamie gave him an odd look and pulled the headphones back on. Going back to her cleaning, I took John back out the door and started my way to the gym as I had originally planned.

"So she seems nice" John started as we walked, I liked walking to the gym, it made me feel a little bit more normal. "So how long are you gonna wait until you fuck her?"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "I'm not going to fuck her John"

"Really? Why do I not believe that?"

"Believe what you want Cena, you always do"

"So tell me why did you hire her? If you're not interested in fucking her, why did you hire her?"

"Because she's right for the job, I don't know if you've noticed but Jamie is a bit slow"

John snorted, "That just makes it easier for you to fuck her, her being slow isn't going to stop you, it's just given you a brighter green light"

"Ok firstly; Jamie is disabled mentally, it would be immoral for me to do anything with her, secondly, I don't need help or her to be slow in order to fuck her, I wanted her I could have her just like that" I snapped my fingers for effect. Me being me, I had no trouble pulling women, Jamie would be no exception, but in my eyes, Jamie was a kid, no matter what her ID said, she was a child mentally and doing anything or even thinking it was wrong, I knew that my eyes would have to stop their peering and they would, eventually.

John just laughed "Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?"

Around half past four I got home, I stopped in at the bitch's to see my daughter. When the house was clean, Alana was coming over to stay, it would be the first time in months, I hoped she would like Jamie. Alana didn't take to meeting new people very well, she could be very shy. I pulled open the door to find that suddenly my house and my maid were straight from the fifties. Or maybe that was her apron and humming, the lounge was spotless along with the kitchen. She had a bit to go but that wasn't bad for her first day.

"Hi Randy" Jamie beamed at me stirring a pot. "I hope you don't mind but I made you dinner!"

I put my stuff down, "That's fine, what are you making?"

"I have no idea, it started out as chicken-noodle soup but then I got bored and just started throwing stuff in, it should be ready very soon"

I didn't want to upset her but I really didn't want to eat what she was cooking, "The lounge looks good Jamie"

"Thanks, I found three more mices. You now have a cemetary"

"You killed more mice?"

"Yeah. I was going to keep them but Raven said no, I have enough aminals"

Another topic change, other than killing mice. "Have you done the laundry?"

"I've done eight loads of laundry, I've folded everything up and put it in the basket. I had no idea where to put it so I just left it where it was. I've cleaned and cleaned, I ain't really finished"

"I see that"

While she was cooking and stirring, I wrote down a list of things for her to do tomorrow, and then a list of things she had to do while I was away. It would slow down once she had cleaned everything. I couldn't wait actually, I was looking forward to it more than I realised.

Jamie turned down the heat and started mumbling to herself, I couldn't help but watch her in interest, her little face scrunched up with thought. Wiping her hands on her jeans she started fumbling around, when she came up she had a bowl of dog-roll.

_Oh please don't add that to your pot_. Instead Jamie started calling for the dog,

"Jaffa! Jaffa! Come get dinner girly-girl!" Jamie put it down and patted the fur on her head. "Good doggy!"

When she came back inside, she washed her hands before getting a bowl and serving her stew. "I hope you like it Randy. You didn't say what you wanted for dinner, so I just guessed"

Not wanting to upset her, I grabbed a spoon and gingerly took a bite, her blue eyes burning on me with hope. It tasted a lot better than it looked, now that I had taken a bite, I suddenly realised how hungry I was. Jamie clapped her hands once with joy, "Would you like some bread with that Randy?"

"Na-uh"

Jamie looked around the kitchen then at her watch, "I'll do the dishes, then I can go"

"You go, I can do the dishes"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, you've been working all day. Its the least I can do"

"Actually the least you can do is nothing"

She got me there. Maybe she wasn't as slow as I thought. Jamie put her bag on "So what time tomorrow Randy?"

"Ten. Here is a list of things for you do tomorrow." I pulled off the spare key and pushed it into her hand. "Just come straight in and get started. I plan on sleeping in"

"Ok" Jamie beamed at me, "I hope you have sweet dreams"

"Jamie, before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Is it about moon technology?"

"No"

"Then by all means, go ahead"

"Do you know who I am?"

She just looked at me, "Um yeah, I'm slow but I'm not retarded, you're Randy. Duh! You told me that"

Jamie shook her head in laughter before heading out the door. Is it possible that I had finally come across a girl that didn't know who I was? I sure hoped so because that meant God was still listening to me. Now I just had to avoid the trap of fucking her. Should be easy right? Wrong; life was never easy, no matter what they said.

**A/N So hows that for a first day! And it just gets better! Onwards we go!**


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